Welcome to Urban Image Magazine

Jay Z Dropped

We have your product so there’s no need to celebrate your black ass. That is what Barneys is saying to rapper Jay Z. His new line is to debut this Wednesday and instead of throwing the huge party to celebrate his launch they said sorry due to unforeseen circumstances we have to cancel. Now I know he seriously is feeling like a donkey’s ass. After he adamantly stood by this conglomerate after they openly treated his own like trash they turned him down just like the customers. I feel like an I told you so are in order. Mind you he wouldn’t have profited off this deal but neither will Barneys now that Jay switched and said all of the proceeds will go to his foundation. Wonder if that had anything to do with it? Hmm….

Race Themed Films Soar

Black people can’t have shit without others messing our glory time up huh? The Best Man Holiday debuted this past weekend and instead of being happy a movie did well USA Today had to point out that ‘Holiday Nearly Beat Thor as Race Themed Films Soar’.

What the what?!

How in the hell is that race themed? And what was the point of pointing that out as if we don’t know that the cast is pretty much all black. Like there is no way black people can make a decent movie that could actually pull in numbers. And they wonder why we have to have separate awards show to acknowledge our own cause Massa won’t let us play in the big house. Damn shame! How would they feel if we put some ish like White Ass Films Tops the Charts Again? We can’t be a feel good movie but a race themed movie. That’s like saying, you’re pretty for a dark skinned chick! Not buying it.

K. Michelle’s Monkey on Display

I swear I almost threw up in my mouth when I saw the leaked picture of K. Michelle in some flesh colored tights with her monkey sending smooches to her fans as she is performing on stage. My thing is the excuse homegirl gave after everyone dogged her. She claimed the photo was snicker, snicker….Photoshopped. That’s a lie because a YouTube video has surfaced of the performance and it clearly shows there was no photoshopping involved, nice try boo. Your friends and designer need to be fired. How does one not know they are experiencing camel toeitis? That happened to me once and I knew it because it felt like my picacho was swallowing up the material; what I’m saying is it didn’t feel right. That’s like when a person’s ass crack is exposed. Didn’t you get the sensation of a cool breeze going through your ass crack? K. Michelle just sit it down.

Put a Ring On It

Cuffing season is in full effect. Congrats to Kelly Rowland because she just got engaged to her manager Tim Witherspoon. Go ‘head girl!

NeNe Leakes Hospitalizaed

Faux celebrity reality star NeNe Leakes was hospitalized over the weekend however no one knew until after she was discharged and she posted a pic of herself in the hospital for sympathy points. She realized no one has been talking about her so she decided to conjure up a reason for sympathy points. She claims it exhaustion but for what? Being Mr. Ed’s double?

Oops He Did it Again

George Zimmerman was arrested. This time for domestic violence to his new boo. The 911 call released with her saying he broke her table then pulled a sawed off shotgun on her. He doesn’t get eligible for bail unlike when he shot and killed Trevon Martin but is it just me but the most disturbing part of this story is the fact that he has a girlfriend? What thirsty chick decided to roll with him?! And you get what you deserve. She knew what she was getting into so why complain now?

Marital Unbliss?

Keyshia and her husband are going thru it. Her husband had no problem displaying his foolishness on social media. While in Houston Boobie made it rain dollarz in a strip club then recorded the whole thing posting it for all to see. Normally I wouldn’t give a damn but I find it ironic and funny how Keyshia tries to come off like her ish don’t stank and tweet about other celebrity’s life (i.e. Beyonce) when hers is not about ish. I also find her response to everyone’s two-cents hilarious. Keyshia posted a pic on Instagram of Steve Urkel with the words ‘I ain’t worried about nothing!’ Yeah ok, who are you foolin’?

Drake a Hot Commodity?

When someone has the illusion of being taken everyone else wants a piece of that ass. Drake just was seen all hugged up with Rihanna during his tour now he was seen with sexy ass Lenny Kravitz’s daughter Zoe. Sources say they were all cuddled up at Gjelina restaurant in Venice! Damn, if that place don’t scream out ‘let me hit it’. Do your thang big pimpin. I still won’t jump on the bandwagon, he too emotional and sensitive for me.

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

Chris Brown Out of Rehab

Damn that was quick as hell. I knew he was just doing this to look good for the judge. Anything to get out of doing time. There is no way in hell all that anger that’s been built up in that brotha has been released in three weeks. He needs about a good year of indepth therapy to get rid of that ish. But I guess everybody has a price. Of course the people at the rehab was bought for the right price, that’s why he was released so soon. Now we see him chillin with his main boo thang Karrueche at a restaurant since his first boo thang Rihanna is too busy going home with Drake. Once Chris sees the pics of them kicking it at his concert I guarantee you he will be back into rehab. Karrueche, duck!

Nicki Minaj as Lucifer

Last season of American Idol was a damn tragedy. Even my ass had to stop watching and you know I love drama and celebrity foolery but the ish was down right ugly. Mariah Carey spoke to Angie Martinez about it and said working at American Idol with Nicki was like working with Satan. If that isn’t the worst comparison I’ve ever heard-damn! The little I saw, I can agree with Mariah even tho I don’t care for Mariah either. Nicki let all that ish that’s been shot in her butt cheeks go to her head.

Watch Out Girl He Crazy

Somebody should have told Lil Kim that same thing before she dealt with this clown. How she came out of this one is beyond me. Her ex Damien ‘World’ Hardy has been ordered to take anti-psychotic drugs in order to stand trial for the murders of six people. Lil Kim really loves them thugs. Now I see why she went and got all of that plastic surgery done, so he wouldn’t find her and make her victim number seven.

Before I go I want to give a quick congrats to Necole Bitchie for receiving the Blogger of the Year Award from The Black Weblog Awards. I’ve read her story and thinks she is aspiring. I love what she said, “99% is the same as 0. If you are going to do 90 you might as well stay home!” Nuff said.

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

As we all know Chris Brown has gotten his high yellow behind arrested, no surprise there however what is a surprise is who was there to support him in court today. No it wasn’t Rihanna. It was his mama who probably was there to get first dibs on whooping his ass for acting a fool and also Trey Songz. What the hell was he doing there?

Now the reason for the brawl was because two gay men tried to get on his tour bus and Chris wasn’t having it. But isn’t it odd that Chris keeps getting into it with gay men? Frank Ocean. Drake. And now these two. Maybe what really went down is Chris wanted a lil creep, creep and the men didn’t want to be with Breezy so he fights them. Just sayin.

Put a Ring On It

Well Ciara has made an honest man out of ugly ass Future. Damn did I say that? Anywhoo, rapper Future finally put a ring on Ciara’s finger. Congrars to you just don’t have a baby with the kid.

Sucka For Relevancy

I like Benzino I really do, he seems like a cool person to chill with but he is old as hell and I think he needs to sit down somewhere. Since he obviously has trouble with finding love he has decided to take a page out of Flava Flav’s book and do a show called Sucka For Love on VH1. It’s set to air in the spring of 2014 and your boy Stevie J and Joseline are set to be the executive producers. All hell is about to break loose. Will you tune in?

Rumored Love & Hip Hop

Love & Hip Hop is trying to be universal. I heard it’s going to Australia. But lets focus on the alledged crew over here. These are not official but damnit it would be kind of interesting if it was true. Karrucheche Tran, Miss Joie (Bow Wow’s baby mama), Tyga and Christina Milian’a boo Jas Prince. What do you think? Love & Hip Hop is set to be in LA and if that is the case it is rumored that Ray J will have a hand in producing it. Hmmm…

Bitch Please

K. Michelle can sang but how do we know that if every time we turn around she is beefin with someone? The most recent is with her costar Erica Mena and for what I have no clue, Erica seems so damn irrelevant but she got K. Michelle dipping and diving into seclusion while in New York. K. Michelle, I’m gone need you to take a long seat down somewhere with all these petty beefs you’re conjuring up every other day, real shit.

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

Emotion Makes You Cry Sometimes

Drake has always been an emotional dude. Have to be if he walking around with Bill Cosby sweaters on. Every chick he has messed with has been put in blast on one of cry for you ballads so how does one think he is not an overly sensitive ball of mess? We only call it how we see it. Well he is getting tired of all the assumptions that he is whiney, emotional and lonely. Well what are you? If you would stop putting out these soft ass love ballads we might not think you’re emotional. Wait..that’s a lie we still will.

You’re Not a Bad Bish After All

When you talk a lot of shit be prepared to have it thrown back at you. I thought Basketball Wives reality star Evelyn Lozada was about that life. Guess she’s not as hard as she protrays to everyone on the show.

Ms Ev has vehemently declined to attend the BW reunion show even though it is in her contract to do so. She is too damn scared of what co-star Tasha Marbury and ex ace boon coon Tami Roman might spill about her past relationship with Chad OchoCinco and new boo LA Dodgers Carl Crawford. Damn it gotta be some good ass shit if Ev is backing down on a show. She should have thought of that before she put Tasha on blast in her new book. Karma is a true blue bitch!

Leave Blue Ivy Alone Damn

A few days ago a picture surfaced of Beyonce carrying Blue Ivy. All social media outlets went crazy because Blue Ivy’s hair was in some Coolio braids. I thought it was adorable but everyone else did not share the same opinion. What is it with black people and hair?! Especially black kids hair? Bey is damned if she does the baby’s hair and damned if she doens’t. Have we become that narcissistic about this? I let my baby girl rock an afro for the longest before I started throwing ponytails in it. Blue Ivy is not your baby so why get so mad. I bet the ones who are complaining are the ones whose house is filthy as hell. Just sayin. Let that baby breathe. Kids are supposed to be off limits.

Chris Breezy Needs Baby Jesus

Here we go again. Chris Brown did his thug thizzle again this morning at a nightclub in Washington D. C. Why the fight started or who was involved has not been released but what I do know is one Breezy is in jail until Monday and two he needs to get his life together before he run up on the wrong true thug and get his head knocked. Obviously the people around him doesn’t give a damn enough to try and help the chile, they’re too busy digging holes in his pockets. Sooner or later something will happen to his ass and then you will hear me say, I told yall!

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

Aw man, T.D.E. had the hardest cypher last night during the BET HIP-Hop Awards. They killed alot of sucker M.C’s over “Shook ones”. I don’t know if ya’ll understand it or not but the beat was a message in itself. One after another, the T.D.E. wordsmith’s assassinated the cypher.

Now, lets get somethin straight. I don’t respect that fake ass ish Kendrick Lamar pulled. Homie showed big flaes in his character. He is not to be trusted. He’s the type of dude you can be chillin’ wit all day and soon as he sees an opportunity, he’ll break into your crib. Whenever you get done wit it he did some snake ass ish. I just don’t like grimy back stabbin’ people. I was a fan until that point. I mean you’re networking with these dudes, doin’ songs and videos. Then all of a sudden you’re feelin’ yourself and you start takin shots? Kendrick Lamar was already mentioned in every conversation or debate over “who’s the hottest M.C.”, his little beef tactic was unnecessary. i hope it was worth it homie, cause after your lil shine is over nobody’s gonna mess with you. What goes up must come down. And when you flop, you’re going to drop past the same people you shitted on. But whenever I get done with it; Damn that dude killed it last night! All that wasn’t even called for. He dropped bar after bar. And after they played the cypher, Kendrick’s lil ugly ass when sittin in the audience like he’s the king of rap or something. He’s doing his thang but he has a long way to go, and he’s goin about it the wrong way. You just don’t flip on dudes you’re cool wit. If its some beef or you see somethin fake, handle your business. That like we’re all cool, hangin out and gettin money together and the next thing you know, you’re getting text from everybody sayin I’m talkin about you. Just fake.

At first I was the one to say; “Drake should just leave it alone and every time somebody brings up Kendrick Lamar, Drake should just post up his record sales and stay focused on making good music.” But now? After they aired the cypher…..”I need you to say somethin baby.”