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If you are in a relationship is it ok to have friends of the opposite Sex?

Lovers & Friends by LIL JON, USHER, LUDACRIS

    So to me this is a no brainer if you are currently in a relationship or you plan on getting seriously involved with someone, and your partner has a problem with you having or being friends with the opposite sex it is very obvious you are committing to the wrong person or that someone just simply is not for you. When we are younger and began to date it is only natural to feel that instant jealous, insecure and being overly territorial of are crush or boyfriend/ Girlfriend talking to the opposite sex only because we feel as though there could be possible competition or the possibility of are crush liking someone else. In other words when you are young you are unable to see the bigger picture of life and looking beyond what the eye see’s.  I know that I have defiantly been guilty of this act numerous of times I used to feel like “I am all my man needs so why does he need the companionship of other women”. I did not realize or even care at the moment that these women he called friends had been in his life years before I had even met him and they had been the ones holding him down long before I came along. At the time I just knew that I was extremely jealous that the man I was dating had multiple female friends even though they were never romantically involved, and they were just friends he grew up with  I couldn’t help but get the images in my mind of them doing something else ,or boo loving on the phone when I wasn’t around, The games our minds play on us, I know I was going crazy just thinking of the what ifs, and should of, could of, and would of’s.I know that in a relationship trust is a very important factor, and you should be able to trust your spouse when they are out of your site. Freindships are one of the most powerful influences in our lifes and to some extent they can shape and mold your character because of the influence they have on you. Some would say that having friends of the opposite sex is a disater waiting to happen, but I say it depends on your partner and the type of relationship the two of you share. All I can say is communication is key and if you dont trust your partner you shouldnt be with them.


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Categorized as Blog Topics, What Do You Think

Single and Ready to Mingle: Faithful women vs HOES

toomanyhoes�This picture sparked a conversation on my facebook page. It got me to me thinking: Why are there so many good and faithful women still single but these #popcorn hoes are in and out relationships with these men and they are being “wifed” up. We are looking around like what the hell.  Here is the conversation that we had

Perri Forrest: LMAO!!!


Emiaj AhDai: and they love dem hoes
Perri Forrest:Like a fat kid love cupcakes, they do!


Valorie Rice :Roflmao @ Emiaj!!!!


Perri Forrest: Hey Emiaj…what they don’t get is that “faithful” girl can give ‘em a whole lotta hoe in the bedroom when they right! And still have her walls in tact because they ain’t beat out. Ha!


Valorie Rice:^^^^^ I agree with Perri damn straight!!!!


Emiaj AhDai:^5 Say that “S”ugar “H”oney “I”ce “T”ea


Valorie Rice: What I hate is when you try to talk to them about what you like and they say huh???? Okay they know what you talking about but would rather go out and let someone else do it for them. SMDH


Valorie Rice:I tried it for several years to live a vanilla relationship. I got sick physically from not being in the lifestyle those years. Never again will I try to be someone I’m not. If they can’t take me as I am kinky and all then too bad for them they have no idea what I can do!!!! I’m a beast!!! (^^^)


Perri Forrest: Valorie…that’s some kind of brain malfunction, I think. It’s a level of comprehension they don’t get. It’s like Sex has its own language, and they don’t want to take the time to learn it. Shortcut = Short term in my book. Shit, I’m still waiting for a FULL body experience because. I think that’ll be the day I fall in love for the first time. Lol! When it manifests physically, it’s time to GO! At lightening speed!


Emiaj AhDai:LOL…. they think faithful women won’t give them what they need and want… I am the perfect lady in the street but then when the lights go off I can be whomever you want me to be


Perri Forrest: …and sometimes a lot more than they bargained for! #Bloop!
Seriously on some real stuff this is what we see daily and taints the image of good and faithful relationships for people who really know how to treat people well. Perri said it best we are ladies and very faithful but in the bedroom we can also be the hoe that he needs us to be. I think a lot of men don’t realize this. For you the man we are in love with we can be anything you want us to be. We are not out here looking for everything in every other man and giving it up at the drop of a hat or even a dollar. At the end of the day you can still respect us and we will still hold you done. You all are out here turning hoes into house wives and they sleeping with the neighbor. Then we get that dumb ass question “Why are you still single?”  Excuse me do you not see what you are with right now. “These hoes be acting up”




E. Ahdai



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Categorized as Blog Topics, Dating & Relationships, Blog Topics, Single and Ready to Mingle, Blog Topics, What Do You Think

Single and Ready to Mingle: Healing after the BREAK-UP

Wine down Show topic: Do you have to heal completely before you can move forward? Is it different for women than men?


I get the absolute pleasure to join a group of writers on Wednesday nights every single week. We sit down and talk to a special guest about different topics. Last weeks show was no different. WE HAVE A FRIGGING BLAST ! Sh’Moore, Shakir, Ron, Rj… and myself.. Imagine that life LOL…  http://www.blogtalkradio.com/shmoorebooks/2013/09/05/wed-nite-wine-down-w-sh-moore

This question really set the stage for the conversation. Healing is necessary . I am a isolation healer. I know you are wondering what is that. Let me tell you. I heal in the isolation; I take time away from the world and deal with what is going on in my heart after a break up. I love hard and so after the break up I need peace. In relationships we lose so much of ourselves trying to be US… So I put myself in a place where I write and reflect. I write letters, poems, stories, and etc; to get the feeling out.  At some point I find the courage to talk to the person who hurt me so much. (SEE SONG IT TELLS A STORY).

Now don’t get me wrong I know some people who wanted to straight up “Hoe” themselves out because they wanted to hurt every man they came across like they were hurt.. GIRL STOP! How healthy is that? Only to be on someone’s shoulder  crying and what not. Come on now we have to be smarter than this. Forgive and move on.

My facbook family had something to say about this:

Andrew Snorton: “It helps to do so.  Otherwise, you bring too much into your next relationship. Detox before you get involved again so you allow things to take their course instead of sabotaging it from the start.”

Sharon Shay Johnson:” I think it is women love harder than men and are more emotionally attached; men(some) try to play hard as if it wasn’t that serious and if it was i think they feel its easier just to move on to get over the person…but women have to go thru all the phases, hurt ,anger, etc before we can move on”
Nigary Rma Thompson: “I would say so. No need to take old luggage to a new relationship. In my opinion men lack the nurturing spirit that the woman possess. So we as women are emotional creatures of habit so it takes us more time to rationalize and t I move on. We have been taught that are emotions are important.  But as far as men are concerned emotions were seen as weakness.  They have to heal in a different manner but they do hurts”
Dwight Sloan: “I think its even. People generally have the same emotions even if they manifest themselves differently.  But yes you should get over your past before moving forward.”



E. Ahdai

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Categorized as Blog Topics, Dating & Relationships, Blog Topics, Single and Ready to Mingle, Blog Topics, What Do You Think

Naturally Curvy Fashionista: Shoe Tuesday!!!!!

What is a girl to do when she in love with every shoe she picked for shoe Tuesday. I feel like I am in the middle of a life decision trying to decide.. I did something a little different this time to help with my choice. I took to my FACEBOOK to see what the men really think about women and their high heels. A woman in heels; does it make you feel “some type of way”. I actually received some interesting answers.

Deep Voice Taurus said “I like when women wear flats cause they look cute in them and I could tell they look more comfortable in them then them wearing high heels.” I am the queen of flats during the week at my job because I am always up moving around and I need to be comfortable. Some days I do get a little jazzy and throw on my heels and leave that flats at home. For every outfit I have, I have flats and heels to go with them.

Wax Lauren said “Yes it does. I think a woman who takes care of her feet, says a lot about how she takes care of herself. For me it’s a def’ turn-on.” 

After chatting with fellas I also asked them to choose a color…WAIT FOR IT!!!!! They chose pink and they said any color pink… So today’s shoe pick actually comes from own shoe closet..(pictured) I love my pink platform heels. I actually rock these with my black and white peplum dress, and my houndstooth dress. They add that little pop of color that black and white sometimes needs. These are not every single day shoes because they are suede. These shoes stay in their box until ready to wear. I do not drive in these shoes.


Ladies the next time you go into your closet let you man inspire your pick….


Happy Shoe Shopping!!!!!!!!!



E. Ahdai

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Categorized as Blog Topics, Fashion & The Arts, Blog Topics, What Do You Think

Single and Ready to Mingle: A guys Approach

singlereadytomingleI was sitting and thinking about the last time a man approached me. I mean really approached me and wanted to get to know me. I was so not enthused. This is how it went:

Him: “Hey Ma!”

ME: (looks around) I know this cat is not talking to me.

Him: Hey Ma! You in the pink dress.

ME: (that is me). Sir?

Him: You are so fine… What is your name?

Me:( Looks at him as if he could have been a 3 headed monster.) I am sorry sir I am not interested. *walks off*

OK I am not interested in anyone who says “Hey Ma!” or another mess that is not “Excuse me, hello how are you?” What is so wrong with walking up to a woman and just being the gentleman that you were raised to be.  I am not the street slang type of girl. I hold myself with respect so why shouldn’t that man approach me with some respect. Now what will say is that some women are falling for the corny ass lines and settling for the bull shit men have to offer. I am sorry I can’t, I won’t, and I shall not. Now  I will say if a man can make me laugh and not annoy me then we can see what it is all about.

So I asked the question on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/emiaj.ahdai Fellas: How do you approach a woman? Can you believe only one man answered. Now I have hundreds of friends on my Facebook and only one man was brave enough to come up with an answer. REALLY!?!?! My other single ladies on the my Facebook wanted to know as well. Below is the steps he came up with

This is from the mouth of a man….. Step by Step on how to approach a woman

1.) Walks with confidence.
2.) Excuse me, Introduces myself. Extends my hand(with a smile) and ask her name
3.) Ask if I can talk to you, if you are not too busy.
4.) Be straight forward,  ask another question, do you have a man?…..
5.) 10 times out of 10 she does……… I don’t mean to waste your time. Please forgive me. Walks off.  Now if she doesn’t. Ask her for her number
6.) Try again.


This was very realistic. FELLAS we do not need the antics and buffoonery. I can’t say this too much we really just need you to be respectful with us. Now I know there are ratchet women in the world who only respond to ignorance. Let them men who like that deal with them.




E. Ahdai

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Categorized as Blog Topics, Single and Ready to Mingle