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Someone once asked me what are you scared of? So I thought what I am scared of? I am scared of planes. (No, I travel too much to be scared of planes) I know what I am scared of snakes . (YES I AM IN REAL LIFE). I am scared of the water. (No I am water child. I do snorkeling every time I go to the Caribbean). Then I thought, I am scared of……….. falling in love.  For a while I was I was terrified. I just praying and praying to take that fear away from. Then I heard a voice say “Why are scared I created for you to feel. I am love, I give you love, there is not fear in love.”  It sent me running to my bible; 1 John 4:18 says “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (Well slap me in the face why don’t you.) So I kicked that fear. I am so ready to fall in love with someone else, like I am in love with God, my daughter, and myself. Love has to start with in us.

Scott Williams says “No. I want the joy of growing old with someone else. Knowing things won’t always be perfect, we will get on each others nerves. The good days will outweigh the bad.”

Nigary Thompson said “Right now I’m in a situation with a guy, we were friends for a long time, then we became more than that.  Lately I have noticed that my feelings for this man are more than I bargained for and I’m not sure what to do.  I’ve been in love more than once in my life.  I am elated that I’m able to feel this way but I’m not sure what will happen.

Lb Isthename said “It’s not the falling in love part, it’s the falling out”

Wax Lauren said “ I’m scared as h*ll to fall in love. We’re talking about the one thing you can’t control when you live w/o boarders. But if I don’t allow my heart to feel what is natural then I’m not even living at all. I want to be loved so that means I have to open myself to the possibility of falling for someone in the same breath and I can live with that.”

As I thought about my image of love. I think about the commitment of it and the forever it. I thought about the song by Chrisette Michelle “Golden” it talks about that forever that the heart longs for with the right person… Then I thought love won’t leave me out; another song by Chrisette. This song tells my actually story. So I shared both songs with you.

Pastor bans weave wearing simpletons from his church

Imagine walking into church and being turned down because you wear a weave. Pastor A.J. Ammir (yes he is Muslim) from Resurrecting Faith in Waco, TX has decided to ban black women who wear weave from his congregation! He believes it’s a distraction and that women need to be getting their minds right instead.

Here’s the thing, I get his point I seriously do because I see it around my way religiously. Not saying every woman who rock a weave is a simpleton, I’ve worn wigs before but it’s not my life. But if you’re a man of God why in the hell are you denying anyone from church? That’s supposed to be a place of worship and maybe that simpleton will walk into that church and get her mind right and become a ‘real’ woman.

Churches are about they business and what they look like and can make financially so it’s a shock that a pastor in the U.S. would deny a woman because of her looks. Hate to be him when Judgment day reigns.

Groupie luv!

Chile this is crazy. Sit it down and listen.

So last week some tests were released of NBA baller LeBron James to model (in my opinion he/she) Carmen Ortega and it was pretty self explanatory and explicit. Now Ms Ortega has been doing a little interviewing with Bossip about the alleged relationship.

It started at a club/restaurant and LeBron had invited her and her girls over to his table, she declined claiming she was good with buying her own drinks and shit. Her ‘friend’ gave Lebron her number anyway which she supposedly was soooo upset about. She asked about his engagement when they started texting each other and he told her to don’t believe everything you read but he still didn’t say anything about whether they were together or not. Now if he was not with his fiancée why in the hell did they have to walk out of separate entrances? That should have given her her first clue but she kept texting him anyway because she hoped he was her baller Jay Z. Funny thing is she claimed she had no clue who he was when she saw him at the restaurant. How could you not know, I’m for sure he had an entourage as big as the place they were eating in. I can see if you were in the grocery store or something like that but a restaurant? Ok, I’ll let you tell it ma.

These chicks kill me with the not knowing shit. You knew what you were getting into and you loved the attention. It’s sad that you crave these ballers then get pissed once you realize that you are not the HBIC!

Peace and luv!

Posted from none other than your favorite writer’s favorite writer Ms Talia

Working as a Christian school teacher had its benefits. It provided me a framework in which to fellowship with both my students and fellow coworkers on the goodness of Christ. It opened doors creatively and spiritually that no other employer could even come close to granting. There was definitely fullness and a level of peace that enveloped my very being. My fluctuating levels of insecurity for once were at bay, and when they reared their presence was effectively shot down with scripture. I miss that life, but chose to leave. Why?

As a single woman with a car “note”, rent, a cell phone, and student loan payments, the compensation that I was awarded for my efforts at Christian school was quite minimal. Hence, it left me in a situation where I was literally living from paycheck to paycheck with nothing to save or utilize for emergencies. I tried to not feel defeated, and very rarely did as I realized that God had placed me at this school for His purpose. However, after several months of calls from student loan reps threatening to garnish wages, several cell phone disconnections, and negative hits on my credit, I had to break free- a choice that I often regret more than I care to admit to myself as well as others.

Prior to my departure, I remember one of the administrators stating to the staff that, “Not everyone can work at a Christian school; this is mission work”. I began to resent that statement as this individual had two homes, a spouse, and was allotted an opportunity to go on the somewhat elaborate overseas mission trips every year. I felt defeated in my struggle to labor for the school, thus building up further fuel in my reasoning to depart.  Those that remained as staff members had that support network to push through the salary challenges that the administrators continually reported each year.

I have often spoken with other Christian educators that grew weary of the field and went to work for public or charter schools. The desire and passion to educate was still present, but the overwhelming disparity in the salaries forced them to move beyond what the Christian school had to offer. Depressing in nature, but a hard hitting reality, I have often wondered what Christian school administrators are doing to address this issue, if anything. There are those that can successfully have a thriving livelihood, but as costs are rising for just about everything, the majority of us can’t. And although my heart and spirit are supportive of the Christian school in their mission and vision; returning is not an option.

I currently work for an online charter school and make a modest salary; one that affords me a few minor luxuries and some enjoyable perks. However, my spiritual life is lacking and leaves much to be desired. I often wonder if I left the Christian school in haste without considering this vital element that fed my soul. The daily prayer and dialogue with staff and students was priceless. I am in an environment now where that is forbidden. It remains up to me to find that balance of spiritual and economic abundance. God never intended my relationship with him to be stipulated on an employer- I know that much to be true!

First off let me start by saying, I am not the most religious person in the world! Although I do believe in my own “Higher Power”, and I believe that Jesus is truly the son of GOD, I have always had a problem with “Church Folks”. Too much hypocrisy in the church for me. I struggle with that immensely, and I find it pretty much impossible to get past my feelings. I know people who go to church on Sunday’s claiming their spirituality, and their supposed righteousness…and then turn right around and blaze up and start drinking minutes after getting back home. But I often wonder if that’s why my life is so hard at times. I wonder why I never seem to get any of the “blessings” that I see my peers getting who are more involved with the church. So I decided to pick up my Bible, dust it off, and see if I could find anything to get me through my day. I still believe that you don’t have to go to church to know GOD, nor do I have to be in “his house” to know and except Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. Because I feel that wherever I may be in life, he already knows what’s in my heart. So for now, I’ll just have to roll with that! …Anyway, this is what I came across today…

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

I like that! GOD Bless

~JL

Has anyone ever said you “You are damaged good”. Are you thinking what are damaged goods? You are not some product on the shelf that can’t be used so you are deemed damaged and thrown out. You are a human being. They could be saying this because you have been hurt, bruised and broken because someone cheated on you, lied to you, or stole your heart and broke it. The thing that really makes some one damaged that they are not letting go of the hurt. It is ok to go through a period of where you are sad, you are hurt, you are made, you are devastated. IT’S OK!

It is always funny how we look to other people to fix our problems. In the song “Damaged by Danity Kane  “Can you fix my H.E.A.R.T because it is D.A.M.A.G.E.D” No one can fix that heart but you. This to me is not the best option. No one really know what you are going through. You have to look inside yourself.

I am going to talk about me for second. I went through a really bad break up where I felt all the things I have spoke about. I will not pretend I cried, I screamed, and I even lashed out at other people because I was so broken. I took the time and just prayed and spent time with God. I saw that I losing me to the hurt. I had to forgive him for hurting me and move on. People hold on so much, letting go it a good thing. Without forgiving you are only hurting yourself and missing out on your blessings.

I thank my heartbreaker for the heartbreak. It gave the me strength. Thank you for the lesson learned…

XOXOXOXOXO

E. Ahdai