Welcome to Urban Image Magazine

Hey, lovlies!

I figured I’d just post some funny things I found around the net for Funny Friday! Enjoy your weekend!

 

First , a vid of a TERRIBLE  twerking FAIL  ( I blame YOU, Miley!!): ~~>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkwiNJ5M-A0

 

Next, a desperate attempt to get some play back fires:

 

On to a “lovely” welcome home party for a stray spouse… I’ms sure a;; the neighbors put it up on IG:

Oh, let’s not forget the many varied opinions on the upcoming political races…

ANNDDD Finishing off with a video by an artyist named Dee-1.  He’s a concious rapper.  If you’ve never heard of him, give him a listen.  The song is called “Jay, 50 and Weezy”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1IGfv8zSgw

<3 DESZION

Hi Lovelies, this is something I found online and it’s HILARIOUSLY FUNNY!!! ENJOY!!!

 

11. Poking People

Always sort of a joke, it might be time to finally retire this Facebook feature. Something just feels off every time you poke me. No matter how you cut it, there isn’t a single situation in which poking someone is acceptable.

10. Overdone Like Buttons

Somehow I’ve ventured over to your blog only to be greeted by an alarming pop-up Facebook “like” box baiting me to like your page. And then, when that goes away, I can barely even see your blog post because of the 100 “like” buttons strategically placed throughout your site.

 

9. The Ridiculous Event Invite

I’m honored you want me to come to your poetry reading in Siberia, but I’m not quite sure I’ll be able to make it. When you send mass requests to a bunch of people you don’t really know, it makes you seem inconsiderate and pretty much paints you as a spammer.

8. Off-base and Mass Messages

Stop sending mass messages with dozens of people attached. You’ve seen these before, like “please like my page” or “vote for me in this ridiculous award I can’t win,” etc. People loathe being addressed in this style, and if you really have something to say at the very least personalize your message to each individual or, better yet, refrain altogether from sending out mass messages. After all, it’s straight out of the guide to spamming.

 

 

7. Adding People to Random Groups

This one’s a big pet peeve of mine. A classic text-book spam artist move, people will add you to random groups without your knowledge and all of a sudden you’re signed up for every single notification for each posts to the group. If this happens to you, make sure to leave the group or at least turn off the notifications within the group settings, as well as question the friendship with the culprit who added you. You don’t want to be the person known for doing this on Facebook, it’s a huge red flag.

6. Suggesting Friends

Please stop suggesting I friend somebody else. You playing match-maker is a little creepy and I might start to question why you and I are friends instead. And it’s actually worse than creepy because, you see, on Facebook expert spammers pair up and start suggesting up to 50 random friends for each other. By doing this, the people they suggest will get the notification (in their friend requests) and may mistakenly think the spammers requested the friendship. In reality, the spammers want you to commit the first step by adding them as friends (essentially tricking you to friend request them). Facebook penalizes people for requesting too many friends, but spammers who pair up and suggest friends for each other escape notice since they are not actually doing the requesting.

 

5. App Requests

If you’re on Facebook all day playing Farmville, that should be embarrassing enough, and the last thing you should ever want to do is invite your friends and alert them to your nerdiness. And I can’t even explain to you the ill feeling I get when I receive a request to join Klout, for example, even though I’ve already registered, from one of my less intelligent friends.

4. New Page Invites

Look, I understand you need to create a page for your business, but please stop inviting me to your half-ass Facebook pages. Instead post interesting content to your own page, share it on your profile as well (so your friends see it), and if people find it interesting they will follow. It’s almost not your fault, as creating a page and inviting all your friends can be tempting, but most of your friends won’t like your page and maybe they won’t like you anymore either. And the ones who do like it would’ve probably found it anyways without your begging them to do so. So don’t do this…

 

3. Liking Your Own Posts

So you’ve just posted the cutest cat or baby picture ever. That’s cool, I guess. But then you go ahead and like your photo too. Well, I know you already like the post, aren’t you the one who just shared the damn thing? Besides being annoyingly repetitive, the real reason people feel the need to do this is that the action of liking the post will again show up in the streaming news ticker, giving the post even more exposure (it’s potentially seen twice). These are typically the moves of self-proclaimed “social media gurus” or people who just feel insecure about their status posts.

2. Cross-Posting From Twitter

Look, I understand you’re a little short on content and things to say. We all basically post the same stuff on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, etc. but at least have the decency to not automatically send your Twitter tweets to Facebook. For one, you’ll get much less engagement posting to Facebook via any third-party app let alone Twitter which basically disregards Facebook etiquette. If you do this, it’s a clear sign you’re not really engaged on Facebook or maybe just too lazy to post yourself, either way a fail.

1. Tagging Random People in Photos

Please stop tagging people you barely know in photos that have nothing to do with them. It’s one thing when your buddy tags you in an unphotogenic pic, then sends it out to friends for some laughs, because, hey, at least it’s you. But the people I’m talking about upload photos and tag as many people as they can to try and gin up as many likes as possible. This is a classic move by spammers so be cautious of anyone who does this. I’ve had to call out several individuals over the years, even friends for their random tagging, and you should do the same in any suspect post. Sending a personal message to them to stop could work, too, but I feel like if some goofball wants to tag me in every one of his posts, he must be looking for my input so I give it to him publicly right then and there. Yes, revenge is a dish best served cold…

 

 

How many of these are you guilty of???

 

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MUST WATCH IN IT’S ENTIRETY
(PARENTAL ADVISORY)

Video Blogs

 

You Ain’t No Dime…..check yoself!
Don’t Get In The Trunk……don’t get caught!
Big Girls….every man’s secret weapon!

What’s crossing the line in society is not necessarily true when it comes to comedy.
Case in point the Dave Chappelle video you just watched touched on a very OFF HANDS topic (rape). But how many of you watched the video and laughed, if so it’s because you can tell the distinction between reality and situational comedy which is always based on the connection the comic has with his audience. Just the premise alone of man rape scares most men to death, nevertheless a serial rapist that’s targeting men on the street. Funny how when Dave said there is a serial rapist that reportedly has raped 7 men, which means he must have raped thousands. Funny as hell! Cause who is gonna report that shit? This was a classic build up to the delivery of the joke. Segue to the part of ‘you gotta shake that shit off….caught me slippin’ is HILARIOUS!!!!!

Moral of the day, it’s impossible to rape somebody if you make them laugh, no man can keep a hard on and laugh at the same time, its physically impossible. Comedy has the opposite effect on men and women, makes women wet and men soft.
My advice if you heading to jail, learn some jokes, it’ll keep em off ya!

And now for the joke of the week:
A man hears about a place where you can have the most incredible sexual experience of your life. He goes into the greeting area and the man says ‘how can I help you?’ , ‘I hear this is the place to get an incredible sexual experience’, the man replies ‘why yes, as long as you keep an open mind’ he goes on to say to the gentleman ‘is this your first time here?’ He replies ‘why yes it is’ The man says ‘great go up to the second floor, disrobe and follow the written instructions. The man hurries up to the second floor, disrobes and through a hatch a chicken appears with a note around his neck. The note read no matter how much I scream don’t stop fucking me….it’ll be the best sex you ever had in your life. Without hesitation the man goes in on the chicken, CAW CAW chicken feathers everywhere the man continues to go in on the chicken CAW CAW for 30 minutes, the chicken done lost all its feathers and the man has bust three of the biggest nuts he’s had in his life. Tired and satisfied the man leaves, but the thoughts of the experience would not leave his head. He returns a week later and goes up to the man again and said ‘I was here last week and had the time of my life, I really want to see if you guys can top that. The man replies ‘you were here last week, o ok, this time go up to the third floor and just watch what happens’. As he gets to the third floor he notices it’s about 12 men looking down through an opening in the floor and there’s a guy fucking a goat. He turns to the guy next to him and says ‘this is some crazy shit o my god!’ The guy replies back ‘aw this ain’t nothing you shoulda been here last week when this dude was fucking a chicken!’

I’ve been covering movies for a minute so let’s move on to t.v. shows.
Look whose back: Micheal J. Fox and his own show. We all remember him from the popular sitcom; Family Ties as Alex P. Keaton. And the film Back to the Future.

This fall he plays Mike Henry, a former news reporter in New York and everybody knows him.

I like how he incorporates the Parkinson’s disease in the show. He is making light of the situation but at the same time, bringing attention to a disease that needs more research for a cure.

No matter what are struggles are in life we have to keep pushing through it all to make it to the other side.

I am a fan of Michael J Fox! Keep up the good work!

How do you feel about Fox including his disease in the show? Do you think it is a good thing? What are your thoughts?

Until next time, be safe and God Bless!