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So I was reading an Essence article (Girl’s Best Friend: Creating New Opportunities) about broadening your options in the dating world.  The article went into the scenarios of the best friend who loved to club but always wondered why she couldn’t find the right man.  Yeah, you know, the same ol’ same ol’.

So here’s my question.  If you are to, “broaden” your scope and look outside of the club (which is good advice), then where are you to look.  They say go to where you like to hang, places that are not the club.  So okay, let’s try this scenario, you have a 26 year old (not me btw I’m 29 LOL) who is tired of the club, she is looking for love, but really friendship that could develop into something more, so she by “stepping out of her box” goes to her favorite places avoiding the club circuit.  She hits up bookstores, sit, relaxes, sipping on her favorite hot drinks and still, nothing happened, no Mr. Right pops up.  So, she heads to different music festivals, poetry events, stuff like that, and again nothing pops up.

Let me insert my disclaimer once again: This is a generalization. I clearly know not every person is this way. That is all! Don’t throw shoes at me…yet.

Are you all ready for my point here? I know I may catch flack but so be it. They say don’t go looking for your keys. Well if you don’t look, you are just sitting and that’s good, because you get to know yourself, but as you sit and take yourself on dates, relaxing in the local café, bypassing clubs, Mr. Right is ghost and according to other’s you are going stale. What do you do?

Personally, I don’t see men relaxing in bookstores any way. Por Qua?  (Why?) *looks for a hiding spot* Men are not gaw gaw over books, if you spot a man in the bookstore, he’s either getting something for his girlfriend or wife or boyfriend or husband, not because he’s a bookie. Sorry! Those times are rare and in-between in the black community, in my view. So you hit up a poetry event, how many single brothers do you know, who have their head on straight and truly want a relationship, are available there and aren’t looking for groupies? Sometimes those events are just as bad as the club. I’m just saying. (Note: I do know some male poets who are about their business in relationships, so this is not EVERY man).

So, now here we are, chilling in church. *looks at you* Now you know the issues that arise there too don’t cha! So in all those scenarios, what is a single person to do? (This goes for single men too because I know some places you don’t need to pick a chick up at, IJS.) What can you do to date in a healthy, satisfying way, that doesn’t involve online dating, (because you can get the same issues there as well or worse), speed dating, making yourself “act” like you enjoy hockey/basketball/football/soccer/boxing etc. or all those other generic blasé-blasé?

When I find out…I’ll let you all know. Until then…Middle finger to the “broadening” your opportunities mumbo jumbo. I want a date, but not on Valentines Day and I’m content in just dating me until, my “keys” seem to want to appear…whenever that’ll be.

What do you all think? What are your experiences or suggestions?

~Icypoetress

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The gift that keeps on giving!!!!!!!!!

My Valentine

My heat that rises requires so much more
Not the average when you walk through my door
Time and seduction needs to be done
For you to master the sexual sensual delicous one
Candy flowers dinner or diamonds
Just won’t due so much more it takes to satisfy
To give me that ultimate high
Your tongue must explore
Lips must adore
Fingers to roam
As you make my body your home
Length and strength you must possess
As my sensitive places you caress
Allowing the erotic screams
As my pussy releases it’s cream
In a continuous stream
Yes my reality not a dream
Dick hard ready for the show finale
As you ram and stroke me down pleasure alley
Hands placed with just the right pressure
Mind blowing way too much to measure
As we both explode releasing all the juices of you and I
The orgasms that neither can deny
Pussy throbbing
Dick pulsating
The combination of my treat of making you mine
As you are my Valentine…

deep rivers….

www.deeprivers.net

copyright@2011 Dawn Blanchard

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So it’s finally February. *sigh* Everyone is gearing up for various events this month. Buying candy, strawberries, etc. Looking for romantic places to hit up and what am I doing? I’m celebrating Black History Valentines Day Style.  That’s right!

First off…yes I’m single and I refuse to get in a funk about another day. If you love someone, you should love them every day, but oh well.  This year…Valentines Day is about loving me and my single life. So here so I plan to celebrate Black History Valentines day!  That’s right Black History Valentines Day.  What does that consist of?

Welp I plan to take myself to the movies and hit up my massive stash of films and watch a little, Love Jones (In celebration of being in Chicago), do a Internet search for Stormy Weather (Because you have to watch some Lena Horne ) and maybe a laugh or two with Just Wright (Because Common…Lawd that is all!).

Yup, sappy love movies, gotta love it.  I also plan to treat myself to some candy and a nice dinner, then a soak in the bath.  Do it big or not at all. Love yourself and treat yourself. I refuse to get all depressed about what I’m content in being, Single and loving me!

But for those of you who have someone, may I suggest some things to do, to celebrate us this Valentines day?

Hit up a black museum.  Find your local Black Repertory play.  Hit up some poetry spots, go dancing. Or do what I’m doing, create a nice in home romantic date, featuring your favorite black films, deserts on you both. Bow! Enjoy yourselves and be safe and wrap it up…with cherry condoms or chocolate. HA!

If you can’t celebrate like you want due to little ones, why not make it a family affair.  Make Valentines that feature some romantic couples from Black History past.  Tell them about how you and your significant one met, how their grandparents met.  If they are too little, just teach them about loving the beauty of who they are.  Take them to Valentine events as well.  It’s all about Black Love!

So let’s celebrate it.

What are your plans for Black History Valentines Day?

~Icypoetress

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