Written By
Cynthia Rogers
Recently I have been hearing from friends, both men and women, they cannot find love or love does not live here anymore. These friends are kind, compassionate and loyal; just good people! So what seems to be the problem? Let’s be honest, I think the problem stems from looking for love in all the wrong places!
Once you have been unfortunate in love a couple or maybe a few times, your outlook on love and relationships changes. That is only natural. The problem occurs when we do not want to take responsibility for the part we played. You had that feeling the person you were dating wasn’t right for you, but you chose to keep dating him or her. The warning signs were there but you chose to ignore them! When the relationship ended in disaster and you got hurt, you then wanted to blame them and not own up to the fact you knew from the beginning the relationship was not going to work. You tried to change your partner and it backfired! Or you did everything right and still got hurt. Now you want to say there are no good men or women out there and you want to be single for the rest of your life! I am speaking the truth as I know it to be, because I felt that way a few years ago. After a few failed relationships, you may be burned out! Especially if you jump from relationship to relationship and never take a break!
With anything in life, such as your career, parenting, volunteering, etc., you get burned out and need to take a break. The same can be said for relationships. Sometimes after a few bad breakups you just need to regroup and access the situation. What things have you learned? What mistakes did you make? What can you do differently next time? Self-evaluation can be a hard pill to swallow but in the end it makes you a stronger person!
Admit your mistakes and then move on! Do not wallow in the bad relationship or hold a potential new partner hostage to your fear of love! Quit hiding behind the notion that you just want to be by yourself! No one wants to be alone and there is no shame in admitting some day you want to be in a loving relationship. The time for that relationship may not be now but do not use that as an excuse to not want to love again! You know love can be a beautiful thing! The highest of all highs! There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in love and be loved!
I almost missed out on love! When I met my husband, I was fresh out of a relationship that ended badly. My ex cheated on me and I told myself after that I was never going to be in a serious relationship again! I was hiding behind the fear of being hurt again. After a few months of casually dating my husband I realized I would be a fool not to give love another chance. I told myself if the relationship did not work out, I would just pick myself up and start again! You only live once and I did not want to pass up the opportunity for someone to genuinely love me! So I took that leap of faith and entered a serious relationship with him that led to our marriage. Has it been easy? No. Has it been perfect? No. There have been ups and downs! But when I look back I am glad I did not let love burn me permanently! I am glad I took that chance and chose the right person for me! Not someone I had to change or mold to my liking but someone God knew was the perfect person for me! I had to trust God knew more than me! So I truly believe there is a person out there for everyone. Stick to your core principals and beliefs regarding a mate but drop the shallowness! Maybe they don’t earn double your salary but they have a good job and ambition. Perhaps they are younger but have a sense of maturity and wisdom beyond their years. Maybe they are older but have a youthful outlook on life. Whatever the case may be, do not limit yourself because you aren’t perfect either! Just take your time and pray asking God to send you the right one this time. I did! Lastly, do not be afraid to love! If you end up old and alone, you only have yourself to blame!
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