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My favorite saying is, “To Each their own”, but when I’m sitting with my married friends, I can’t help but to think on Mr. Chocolate-tie himself.  He’s basically gives out the common knowledge that, you should surround yourself with people, who can help you attract who you want to be.  So if you are single and you are ready to settle down, they say that if you surround yourself with best girlfriends (or guyfriends, because fellas you go through the same crap too, though majority of the time, its us females who are getting the left hook and boot…) who are married, then you will as well, attract a man or woman who sees you are not about, booty popping on a handstand or d*k slanging in the club every night, and you might finally! (yes FINALLY…*rolls eyes*) meet your future hubby/wife or long term boy/girlfriend…but I digress.

Now if you are like me, I happen to be single (*winks* 29, 5’7, with a slightly humorous personality), and the majority, heck, all of them except for four, are either married, or in relationships that have been so long that you would of thought they were married (four couples total). So, I’m good right? Ha! I don’t know, but I do know, God put those people around me for a reason and I didn’t do it on purpose so…In your face Tyrese! You’re not saying anything new, but one thing I do know is…

I’m still single! Oh well, but here’s where I want to get things going, is my advice invalid?

I’m not telling my married friends to run off and get divorced or my long term committed girlfriends to leave their guy, because I am in this fabulous single life, or because I secretly want what they got! I’m not. I’m not this evil dragon ready to jump on the relationships of my best friends, my sisters!  It seems that us single people with good intentions have become the Debil! (for those who don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean the Devil).  We seem to be the ultimate bad guy for coupled up people and I feel some kinda way!

My friendship is valid damn it! I don’t want your man! I don’t go for used goods…or expired meat but that’s another topic. Hell majority of the time, your hubby is my best friend too and they automatically go in the big brother or young brother mode in my book…but that’s just me. I don’t want that bad karma! Is my advice, my ability to listen, my life experiences of being around nothing but people who were or are married, or in long term commitments, which gave me the wisdom I have, less valid?

Is the same advice I just gave you ten minutes ago, more valid because our married bestie just said the same thing?  I said it first dang it!

Now…let me woosigh and throw this down.  Now, does my credentials as a trained Marriage & Family therapist and Individual Counselor, restore my right to give advice?

For some, probably not and that is fine, but I still can’t help to feel some kind of way.

I don’t think I need to have this notch of men under my belt, or rush to get married to some man I don’t know, just to get street cred in the advice game.  I don’t have children either, yet people seem to listen to that advice extremely fast in comparison.  Kind of backwards don’t you think?  Not all single people are manipulating, plotting, putting up your picture on a billboard and mapping out how to ruin your lives. To me, that leaches insecurity in one’s self and many people have ruined strong stable friendships, just because they got married and said, “Oh nooo, we can’t be friends now…I’m married!”  Oh…*insert side eye*…so you better then me? Where’s Drake, I got a remix for him!

Advice goes two ways, I value my married, long committed dating, friend’s advice with all of me and I’d like to think they value mine as well, otherwise what’s the point?

So I’m doing a Kanye and throwing the mic on stage! Hill Harper is single, Tyrese is single (maybe who knows LOL), Steve Harvey has been married so many times that I’ve lost count and all those other celeb advice givers have some shady backgrounds too, including those *side eye* Pastors out their who devote their church to couples, singles and family counseling but got first lady Paula, Choir director Robert and Lulumae in the pew pit up in the Westin Hotel dippin and diving and singing songs other then hymns between the sheets. IJS!  Those people have more street cred then me, who’ve been your best friend for some years, who’ve known you, seen you get your husband and been around you both for years…or months in some cases.  I’m the bad guy?

*shrugs and walks off*

Well dang…let me get my supervillain cape and start roaming the streets, because ultimately you are saying you can’t trust me.  The same goes as my role as a therapist, ultimately you are saying that for the years I’ve been trained and still continue to be trained, its not worth a drop in a bucket because, he didn’t like it so it didn’t put a ring on it?

But you listen to your single guy friends before me. Hmmph…Well then, I feel some kinda way…

SOUND OFF!!…..(be respectful about it please)

~Icypoetress  (if you’d like to have me anonymously post your responds or you have questions, hit me up at [email protected])

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