Open Marriage?

Posted by TaliaRice on Mar 7, 2012 • comments(0)

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 07: Evelyn Lozada attend...

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Last Monday’s episode of Basketball Wives had me doing a double take; there was a scene that threw me for a serious loop. Ocho-Cinco was conversating with his fiance the gorgeous Evelyn. With the most serious expression on his face Ocho-Cinco said that they should be able to have an open marriage because he is not good with commitments and why change him.

*pause

I literally had to rewind the tv because I needed to make sure I heard right. Once I did that then my mouth dropped. Is this what marriage has resorted to? I know for a fact God up there is shaking His head because this is not what He intended at all. To me women who accept this kind of arrangement have self esteem issues. I don’t care how you flip it or how many sweet words you use I’m still going to look at you cross eyed. Why get married? Awhile back one celebrity, I forgot who it was, say, ‘why not have an open marriage. If I don’t have the energy to have sex when he wants it let another female do it for me.’ That statement right there is 9 levels of foolishness! It is almost as if these women (especially older women) have put up the white flag and accepted that the only way they are getting married is if they allow the man to cheat openly and then pretend like it’s ok. All you are doing is devaluing yourself among other things.

No one will respect you especially your kids!

Imagine everyone knows about your lil’ open marriage agreemant, you are both at a club; some random chick slithers her way to your partner and goes hard with flirting. In all reality you can’t say shit, you might try but the heifa will throw that ‘open marriage’ and ‘you asked for it’ status right in your face. Your kids may see their father/step-father going out with other women and they may think this behavior is acceptable or if they know that marriage is supposed to be a monogamy thing they may come to you and ask how in the hell are you gone let your husband cheat and flaunt his mistress around like it’s nothing? What will be your answer then?

What if the outside lover is crazy?

A lot of people be drinking that coo-coo juice. Everybody (well not everybody but most) has a personal agenda. Whose to say the outside lover will play their part and bow down after having sex with your partner? Celebrities and money makers will have this problem the most. That side piece could become psychotic and start some ignorant shit because they want to be in your spot. If you start seeing a strange person lurking in the bushes, your tires getting slashed, or three o’clock in the morning phone calls with nothing but breathing on the other end you might want to prepare yourself for a fight.

Babies? Diseases?

Does your partner practice safe sex? Will that partner be strapped every time? Are you 100% sure? You won’t be there every single time so how could you be so sure? Having an open marriage opens the door (and umm…legs) for extra crumbsnatchers in your house. One day you could leave the house with one child and by the end of the day there are three of them eating up your ish. AIDS and other STDs are rampent; again whose to say your partner is using protection every time? One day you will go to the bathroom then as you look down you see your picacho still attached to those pretty panties – damn! Now you’re burning!

Bye! Bye! Bye!

A fool will do as much as you let them. Opening that door for open marriage means you will have to work harder to keep your partner’s attention. Break out those bags of tricks to make sure they don’t get attached and cut out on you. Divorce rate is increasing why would you set yourself up for a divorce? Your partner can fall in love with the other person leaving you sitting at the dining room table with a big bottle of wine boo-hooing and poorly attempting to play victim cause they left you. Nobody is going to buy that pity party cry. If anything they are going to look at you and say ‘It’s your fault anyway, what did you expect?’

Look ladies, especially my age group and higher, stop lying to yourselves, this is not normal behavior. You can walk around thinking it’s no big deal, that your husband will cheat anyway so it’s better this way but after awhile that will eat at you and you’ll become this paranoid person always questioning everybody he talks to. Did she fuck my husband? Was she with him on his ‘business trip’? I gave him permission but I didn’t REALLY think he would step out! Stop devaluing yourself. Sex is not everything but it’s a part of the marriage, a sacred part no less. To Ms. Evelyn, you’re beautiful, independent, intelligent mami basically a great catch, why get married to someone who doesn’t think you’re worth enough to stay faithful? Marriage is hard already without adding this foolery. Anyone close to this mami shake the shit out of her so she can go back to having common sense!

Peace and luv!