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Friend Zone

I was sitting and talking to some of my girlfriends when my friend Javetta says “How can a man claim to love everything about you but not want to be with you and just be friends. The friend zone sucks.” We all quickly agree with her because we all have been there and done that or still there. We then began to share with one another our issues but that all managed to have the same outcome and the same dumb line. “I love everything about you and you are a great person. I see myself with you, but I don’t want to mess up our friendship.” In the words of my friend Keshia “What the what/” Aren’t we supposed to be friends first in order to have a great relationship or am I wrong? No I can’t be wrong there are too many women stuck in the friend zone.

 Why is it so hard to get out of this so-called friend zone? What gets us placed in this zone anyway? I am speaking from a woman’s point of view but I still asked a group of men this question. From their point of view this is what they had to say. The following in the 7 reason women end up in the friend zone.

 1) We are too nice.

2) We are too much like one of the guys.

3) There is something missing or too much added like kids.

            4) Being way too accessible and not be coming just a piece.

            5) Being way too much of a friend.

            6) Right Personality type/wrong body type.

            7) Just wouldn’t work out.

Now look at this list. Someone means to tell me that people want nothing but mean girls, girls who are dumb to sports, and a woman who is shallow. Can you see why we are confused and wonder how we make into this so called friend zone. Here we are trying to be the best possible woman and we get discarded for the one who lacks our qualities. How much sense does that make? Then we are the ones who have to deal with shoulda, coulda, woulda type of the situation. Or we have to deal with the jealous man who can’t take us being with someone else because of their selfish ways. Again how much sense does that make?

            So sat back and thought some more about this friend zone thing. I spoke with another friend Yvonne. I value her opinion what she has to say about life. She stated the following to me, “Women are like investment accounts with high interest. The man has to invest something before he gains the high interest (the “too nice”, “too accessible”, “too much of a friend”, etc.).”  I thought about this statement and took so much from it.  We as women do tend to go above and beyond our call of duty. It is actually a part of our nature. The value we place on ourselves is minimal and we need to set our stakes higher. Let’s ask ourselves this question this and Yvonne asked this as well, “Why would a man want to move pass the friend zone when he is getting everything that they need.” Realistically when a man is ready to be more than just that friend he will be willing to move pass that zone.  

            I simply suggest that men and women be honest with one another from the beginning. If I am not everything that you want then be just my friend. Don’t get jealous if I have a date or if someone is more into me. Play your role and be my friend.  And speaking of jealousy would a real friend get jealous if you have friends outside of them.  Have other friends even go on other dates as well.

*Stay happy and Happy Dating*

Just Friends

So I am sitting here wondering what is should write about next; when the topic popped into my beautiful head (ok I’m feeling myself tonight) but any way. What does “just friends” mean?

It means something completely different between the two sexes; to women it may mean just what it says we are just friends. Women may put you into the category of you are just like my girls instead of boyfriend material.  I can talk to you about anything from men problems to even his women problems. To a man it could mean you are the only chick I am seeing but just friends doesn’t give you a title so if you see me with another chick you can’t get mad because we are “JUST FRIENDS”

Then what does it mean when you call someone “HOMEBOY/HOMEGIRL” I say this when I am talking about dudes that I see as my brothers. I can go to them and talk their heads off about issue after issue and they will keep it real with me, and I can say I love you like a brother you keep a sister grounded. Same for the females in my life I can call them my home girls…because I can never forget where home is, and includes my circle of best friends. Now do you think those group of terms can be used loosely????

            I am a firm believer as well that men and women who have had a sexual relationship with one another; they can still be just friends with one another. They may have been better of a friend than sex partner.

��           “Are you willing to wait for me?” he asked. With a sideways look I ask myself am I willing to wait for this man. Am I in love with this person I am willing to wait for him. If not then I would go on about my business.

            Without the outside world knowing a lot of people actually face this question daily. Something has changed in the relationship and they are thrust into a world of change. Your mate has to be deployed for months even years at time, or your mate has to serve sometime in jail or even the career has your mate all over the world. No matter the situation the question comes up. “Are you willing to wait for me?” Someone may say well it depends. Depends on what? Does it depend on the time they will be away? Or how in love you are with them; if you are even in love? What does it depend on?

            I can only answer for me. I am willing to wait on my love, if it is true love why not. If it some random guy wanting me to wait, that probably will not happen for me. We can be friends and maybe things will change and we grow closer. I would then put more thought into it.

*** To each its own. I admire those who wait for their mate. You know the true meaning of love, loyalty, and trust.***

The Death of Osama Bin Laden

            Ok, so America has got their man, but as Americans cheer and, praise, rejoice and wish good riddance; they fail to see what brews on the other side. We may have killed the head but the body still breathes and with soldiers defending it.

            Why do we need proof that he is dead? Shouldn’t we trust our government to make the right decisions for us? Ok, so they dumped his body into the sea. This is not surprising, if you look back over history, our government did the same exact thing to Adolph Hitler. The reason the body is dumped at sea is because t no one want the grave or monument to become a shrine.

            Now, you ask “why so quickly?” Well, Islamic faith states the body has to be buried before the next sunset, hence the 24 hours. Our government did respect his faith enough to follow its guidelines.

            Let me ask you this; why would you want to see pictures of this dead man. Did the government show you pictures of every dead person that he had killed? No, they did not.  Per a news release today President Obama has decided not to show these horrific pictures. You will probably disagree with me, but I don’t need to see them.  My proof lies in the operation outline in its self.

            I encourage you the reader to check facts and get the entire story before you pass judgment. Stop solely relying on your friends via twitter, Facebook or any other social network. It is ok to pick up the newspaper, a book, or even turn on the evening news. This is a new day and ages the “cool kids” actually do these things.

****This is all simply my opinion and how I see things.****