Archive for January 25th, 2011
Dear Emiaj, (part 1)
I met this guy about a month ago though one of my close friends, but before meeting him I had already met a few of his friends but I was holding out to meet him. In the beginning he painted a picture of wants more out of life. He even went as far as letting me know the he had spent time in jail. I am not judgmental when it comes others past because I am far from perfect. Right now he is without a job due to this time in jail. He has claimed that it is hard finding work in our area. So I managed to pay for everything every time we would go out whether it was dinner or even to the movies. Now I work two jobs and go to school full time, so I barley have quality time. He uses my car during the day because he says he is looking for work. I also told him that I would even help him with his resume. Well he never gave me the info for his resume`. He did manage to submit applications online while I was with him. As for going out and filling out application, he would claim to be sleep or he forgot to go. I chalked all that up to be lazy. Then everything came to light. Pretty much he was spending time with his lazy, lame friends who do nothing but get high all day.
I know you are wondering why I split your email in parts; there is always a method to my madness. It is best I give you my advice in stages because there are a lot of things going on in your relationship very early that really shouldn’t be. After knowing this young man for a month or so, you have managed to give him the world. NO, this should not be happening so early. You all are still in the “Get to know you” stage. Never in this stage should you allow a man to use your car and have so much access to you. This stage should last at least ninety days. During this time period there are no sexual acts going on. I know people want to test drive before purchasing the car, and that’s fine just not at this point. Also, during this stage he should not be spending the night at your house or vice versa. Make him work for what could be the best possible thing that can happen to him.
I can understand you are not judgmental about his situation but you have to look at it like this. Are you willing to work on this work in progress of a man? If so then you help him by guiding him in the right direction, do not do it for him. He is a grown little man he can do it himself. If not say lets be friends and you do what is best for you. You seem to have you head on right and you have places you want to go in life. So why not date someone along those lines? Sometimes people sale us on their dreams but they have nothing to support them. Then they become nothing but “sales pitches”. A man is going to work if he is hungry. I was always told a man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat. I feel like he is a follower. He is scared to get away from those “so-called” friends. To me I think he needs to grow up a lot more. I noticed you didn’t say anything about his age… (PAUSE)
Categorized as Blog Topics, Dating & Relationships